When a book friend leaves your reading group

Say hello, say goodbye to book club friends

For those of us that have been involved in a book club for many years remember that feeling when a much wanted and much beloved friend leaves the group. It's not because they didn't connect or didn't like the novels you've read but it's because they had to move away and leave a big gaping hole within your reading circle. Your book friend brought so much to the discussions, some of the best side dishes and really good novel suggestions just left your book club.

So what does your reading group do? Obviously, we mourn the loss, shed a few tears and mourn some more until you come to the realization that your friend won't be a regular face at your group anymore. And as the saying goes, 'time heals all wounds' and so you must pick up the broken pieces of your reader heart and move on.

As your group start to feel it's groove again and sees the light at the end of the tunnel that is when it might be time to bring in someone new that loves reading as much as your past reader friend. 

In like Flynn

When it comes to bringing in a new member it seems everyone has someone they want to recommend to the group. With very few openings that come up a lengthy list of potential candidates gathers over time.

Names will start being discussed and within a few minutes a decision will be made and just like that a new book friend has entered the group. ***Remember that it has to be a good fit or the new member might drop out too soon. 

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Getting to know you getting to know all about you...

The word 'Initiation' is all in tongue-and-cheek for our newest member. In our book club it simply starts before the discussion. We introduce them to the group and ask if they can tell us a little about themselves and share their favorite book or genre. By having them share a bit about themselves it gives us a unique look into our new friend. Everyone knows that novels are a 'window into the soul' and it's fun information! Last, we include the history of our book club name along with how this reading group works and in the end we truly hope to make a good match that only time can tell.

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So long, farewell, Auf Weidersehen, goodbye
​to the book friend that moved away

Try these tips to stay in touch:

• Keep them in the loop with your book choices. They are probably still feeling the sadness of leaving and reading heals!
• Ask them to email thoughts and or text questions if they've read the book
• If your book friend really wants to stay connected try FaceTime or another video conference during the discussion.  For a few minutes have them give some book feedback and insight to the novel that was read

Other helpful advice:

• Encourage them to join or start a new book club in their new home town
• Remember to tell them they will always be a part of the group and if they ever come back there will be a reading place waiting for them.​

*I dedicate this post to Mary